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5 Reasons You Never Reach Your Goals... But You Could...
Goal setting and attainment of those goals is probably the most talked about topic in business and personal coaching. Everyone knows that they "should" have goals and they "should" attain them quickly with minimal effort and then stride blissfully to the winner's circle for the award, right? So why do so many people set goals and then, fall short? Or fail? The answer may be a bit more complex than you realize.
It's kind of like baking a cake. When you are creating a cake, you have a series of ingredients. When those ingredients are properly combined will produce a cake, every time. However, if you change the order of how the ingredients go together; what you will get is a big fat mess that doesn't resemble a cake at all.
Here are the 5 Steps that you will need to have in place before you put that "goal cake" into the oven. These steps are in order so please proceed in that order.
1. Well-Formed Goal
In order to have a well-formed goal, you need to do two things:
1. Answer the questions, below.
2. State your goal or outcome in 7 words or less. This will directionalize your brain for maximum attention to your goal. The subconscious mind is a very powerful, but simple mind. It's like giving instructions to children, you tell them what to do and let them do it. Set some time aside, by yourself or with your accountability person, and take all the time you need to first get your 7 words statement.
A. What do I really want?
This is your planning stage. Ask yourself this question. If anything were possible, money and time were limitless; what would you really want? Think about what you want. What do you really want have or to accomplish? Think about this while ignoring possible skills, abilities, and capabilities for now; just write it down. And write it down.
B. When do I want it?
When do you want this goal? Today? Next week? Next year? And in what context? Also, you might include when you would not want this goal, i.e., on holidays, weekends, etc. There may be people you might not wish to share this with, i.e., ex's, former bosses or employees, etc.
C. How will I know when I have it?
What will you see, hear, feel, smell and taste when you have accomplished this goal? Putting in all of your senses helps bring this future goal out of the abstract and into the tangible.
Imagine for a moment that you could project yourself out into the future. Traveling out past the completion of this goal. When you look at the YOU standing there what do you see? Now imagine that you can set into "the you" (who just completed the goal)... n, w what do you see through their eyes? Continue through all of the 5 senses, one at a time, so that you can get a complete 3D experience of having that goal completed or in your hands.
D. Is this goal egological?
Answer these questions if you need some extra insight about the ecological impact of your goal as it applies to you and others in your life.
(1) What will happen if I do this goal?
(2) What will happen if I don't do this goal?
(3) What won't happen if I do this goal?
(4) What won't happen if I don't do this goal?
Is this goal good for me? My Life? My health? My family? My career? Take a moment and consider both positive and possible negative consequences of this goal. If there is any environmental or ecological impact, adjust your methodology for the goal attainment, and not the goal itself. Frequently, when people get any pushback they can, unwisely, abandon the goal without examining their methodology.
E. What's stopping me from having it RIGHT NOW?
What beliefs, values or capabilities are currently preventing you from having this goal, right now? This part will tell you what, if any, changes need to be made internally. Or remove any perceived roadblocks to the attainment of your goal. If you have a belief or value that needs changing to accomplish this goal; change it with this video. If you need to learn something new, just sign up for a class. Do what needs to be done to get this goal.
Be sure to re-state your Goal Statement in 7 words or less, it's important.
2. Definite Start and Completion Date
People need certain types of stress to their lives in order to get things done.
Without stress, humans wouldn't accomplish anything. We need stress to get up, to earn for our families and we need stress to begin new things. One of the best ways to add "the right type of stress" is by establishing definite beginning and end times for your new goal. This will apply that needed push to get you going.
A. Decide when this goal will begin.
Write down and tell your accountability person about the start date. Applying pressure to your goal(s) by telling someone gets you moving instead of "just talking about it."
B. Begin immediately.
Start today, if possible. Take some MASSIVE step towards this goal. Anthony Robbins says, "Achieving your goals or succeeding in any field of endeavor requires action. In fact, it requires massive action; the kind of action that most people are not willing to take to get the job done." (http://blog.iqmatrix.com/massive-action)
C. Set an end date.
This end date can be changed but having a specific timeframe for completion helps apply the "proper stress" to keep you on task.
3. Motivation Direction
How you are motivated is important since people are motivated in three different ways.
Pain or pleasure motivate all creatures big and small, including humans. It is also interesting to note that if you turn up the pain high enough we all are motivated away from it. Rather than getting into "the why" people are or are not motivated in one direction or another, my suggestion is that you think about the time where you got a lot done in a short period of time and think about what motivation direction you were using.
A. Move Away from Consequences or Pain.
About 1/2 to 3/4 (50 to 75%) of the human population is geared to "move away from pain or consequences. This isn't good or bad, it's how they are wired to be motivated. Our society rules and even the media have discovered that if you scare people enough, you can move them in just about any direction you want. If you are one of those individuals (and you probably are...) that respond to "what might happen if you don't do "X,"." Then you should, by all means, organize ALL your goals in this fashion. As stated before, it isn't good or bad unless you choose to ignore the way you are wired... that is bad, lol.
B. Toward Pleasure or Rewards.
15% to 20% of the population is motivated "towards pleasure". Do not waste your time telling this individual about all of the possible bad things that MIGHT happen... they won't be able to hear you. They are too busy thinking about the rewards they will be getting while or after their goal is accomplished. Children are great examples of this strategy. People have to be taught to fear consequences or postpone pleasure to some time in the future. But this group was resistant to their society conditioning and pursue pleasure anyway. For them, this strategy it is also hardwired.
C. "ProTip"... A Combination of Away from Consequences and Toward Rewards.
The best form of motivation is going to be a combination of the "away from" and "towards" motivation strategies. Interestingly, about 3 to 5 percent of the population naturally use both "away from" and "towards" together as a propulsion strategy to achieve their goals. It is also interesting to note that this percent of the population also has accumulated more wealth than the other 95% of the population, combined. Now, this article isn't just about money, wealth or power; this is about getting what you want. So it makes sense that if the group that is GETTING WHAT THEY WANT is using this propulsion strategy on an on-going basis, perhaps you might want to consider incorporating this strategy into your goal planning, what say you?
4. Accountability Person
In almost any goal setting endeavor, having someone that you report your progress to; can be the difference between yet another failure, or a ROARING SUCCESS. How does this work? It seems that having an accountability partner can increase the possibility of your success by as much as 95%, according to this article by Thomas Oppong.
If you have a specific, weekly accountability appointment with that person you’ve committed to, your chance of success goes up to 95%. So, contact your accountability person and set an appointment for weekly updates until you succeed.
Additionally, this strategy is tailor-made for those in the "move away from" motivation direction. The possibility of "letting someone down" or possibly failing seems to make the difference for persons with this kind of motivation.
5. Intermittent and Completion Rewards
Intermittent & Completion Rewards
The reason most people fail at goal setting is their goal is TOO BIG for them to complete in one sitting. Most goals worth having, require and period of time to complete and maybe steps toward that completion. This is exactly the reason why you need to have several small milestones with "small rewards" setup to get to the BIG REWARD at the end... the completion of that goal and the consequences of that goal being complete.
The persons in the "Move Towards" crowd is going to need those small rewards to keep you moving toward the BIG PAYOFF at the end. Remeber you move towards pleasure and getting bogged down is the last thing you need. Keep the rewards simple but worth attaining.
Take Time to Celebrate
Celebrate, Celebrate and Celebrate
If you haven't guessed by now, I'm one of those pesky "Move Towards" people. Don't bother telling me what might go wrong when I plan a goal; I won't be able to hear you. Becuase of that "birth defect," it's amazing to me how few people ever pause long enough to enjoy their victories. Frequently, after a long hard road they get to the winner's circle and the then they go, "NEXT"; without taking the time to enjoy what they have accomplished really. Think about what would be the perfect amount of time to enjoy your victory and double it. Perhaps the most critical learning for you to experience her is that we have all the time we need to create the life we want to live and enjoy it with friends and family.
The Secret Fun Part
The Secret Fun Part
The best part of taking the time to learn this new goal-setting strategy is, you're only going to have to do it once or twice. Okay maybe three times for you hardcore ones, but some will just have to complete this ONCE. After that, your brain will automatically begin to sort goals and information into this new format so you can use your most preferred motivation strategy to achieve whatever you wish. Awesome, right? Exactly. The great part about human brains is you can do the wrong thing a million times and if you do it right just once your brain says "THAT ONE" and you can now do the new strategy forever.
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Consulting Hypnotist, Speaker, Author, Certified Hypnosis Trainer
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The Volcano people
Long ago, on a volcanic island in the South Seas. The island was lush, green and beautiful with all the things one would need to live a safe and prosperous life. With plenty of fish in the lagoon, fruit in the trees, with lots of fresh water; living on the island was pleasant, measured and without care. The forest provided trees and vines necessary to build the huts. Rocks and boulders, from the volcano, provided obsidian for all the daily tools for the villagers to make or create, anything they might need or want. They lived in peace and were happy, well-fed and illness free.