Automatic Writing Day 6… Mind Blown
The automatic writing day 6 process, began long before I sat down (lay down) to the drawing. I was thinking about a friend of mine who sent me a message about what she saw. She saw a girl in a dress in yesterday’s drawing. I completely missed it. Which fine and the exact reason that I’ve been asking for help for the past several days. While I was driving, it just clicked about, what my unconscious mind has been attempting to get me to notice. In order to make this make sense to the reader, I need to give you a little backstory information.
I grew up in a normal family with normal rules and regulations. The lights were always on, Christmas and birthdays showed up in a timely manner and my parents never beat us, set us on fire or sold us to the circus for gambling debts. That being said, there were still things in the background.
The primary thing was children were not allowed to defend themselves. Fighting wasn’t allowed, no arguing; the world was supposed to be a very peaceful place where the children were observed doing their chores and not heard. Must have been awesome for the parenting units. But growing up with no voice and no way to protect yourself has its problems.
How is this a Problem?
For one thing, if you aren’t allowed to fight or defend yourself eventually someone is going to find out. This meant that my older sister (she had different rules than I) had to spend too much time making sure I didn’t get the crap beat out of me. (If I never thank you in public… here’s your 15 seconds of fame).
So I do have lots of memories of being beaten up, bullied or put into situations where I wasn’t allowed to fight back or break even; much less win. But enough about the beginning.
The Girl in the Dress
So while driving to the office today I had a memory. When I was in first grade I had a neighbor girl walk up to me and say “I don’t like boys” and punched me in the lower intestine; I can still feel it. That’s what I think is the message over the past several days. Not so much the injury but the double standard or double bind of not being able to fight back in a way that is “appropriate” based on our societies standards. I’ve worked on this several times to “get rid of it” I think that instead, I should be saying “thank you”. Without that experience, I’m not certain that I would have been able to interpret this message so quickly. It’s been said that you can learn more by holding a cat by the tail than you could have learned any other way. Perhaps this is one of those learnings as well?
This new perspective is going to be more about learning how to fight back or not fight back, in ways that have yet to be imagined. Fight back isn’t always about fighting. It’s about positioning, strategy, and winning without losing any resources while your opponent expends all of theirs.
The second part of this learning is going to be me asking if there is a possible solution to this that has never existed before? Imagine what might happen if we as humans no longer had to fight, make war, draw lines in the sand or do any of those things that humans have always done when someone NOT FROM THEIR TRIBE shows up and everyone gets scared? Is this even possible? I think it might be. Time will tell and I have 4 more days of automatic writing to ask this question.
What’s the next step? Since I’m going to be asking my automatic writing left hand to deliver some possibilities or solutions; get ready for some more drawings, unreadable words and I can’t even guess what. This journey has already been down a road I never imagined and what happens next I’m certain I will be as surprised as you. . I have a few things in mind but as previously stated… I’ve been wrong before. Are there currently areas of my life where I think I can’t fight back? We all have those. Perhaps now I’ll be able to find a solution to those.
And my sister contacted me and said that today’s drawing looks like the hermit in her tarot card deck. I can see it. If you see something else in there, please email or message me.