Bounce Back… When Things Go Wrong
Getting married, moving, changing careers and public speaking, known as some of the most stressful things that people can do in their lives; and that is when things go right. So what happens when things go wrong? How do you bounce back? Occasionally, people get divorced, buy the new house or change apartments, technology replaces their jobs, or people get fired, and the list goes on. When those things go wrong; a few people like that, end up in my office looking for solutions. I’d like to say that I always have the right answer and they only have to see me once and “POOF” the problem is solved and the world resumes spinning in greased grooves.
An Unexpected Discovery
Hypnosis and NLP have always been my go-to when it comes to personal change, trauma, and healing… until recently. I’ve known for a while, that one of many reasons that people have such difficulty changing their lives is they MAY NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO and if they do know what to do they may not know how or when to get started.
Recently, I have been working on a new strength and conditioning certification at a friend of mine’s workout facility, Sunstonefit. After being a devotee (*think obsessed) of yoga for the decade, it felt great to learn some new things. And yes, I was very sore for about six weeks since I haven’t even touched a weight in 15 years. Apparently, we all need to learn new things from time to time. Although I’ve learned lots of different things, I never considered combining this knowledge with my chosen field of endeavor… Hypnosis.
Don’t Just Do It
I know that most people are reasonably intelligent, right? But I also know that it would be pretty stupid for someone to jump into an airplane and try to fly it without proper instruction, right? Maybe all these people need an example of what to do. Thinking you MIGHT be able to do something versus KNOWING how or getting the correct instruction can be the difference between yet, another failure and a HUGE SUCCESS.
Exercise has Changed
During my training, I’ve discovered that fitness has finally come out of the dark ages and now they are teaching movements instead of body part exercises with all 6 of the fundamental human actions in mind This is outstanding news! Thousands of years ago, when I owned a personal training facility is was all about body part training, i.e., chest day, back day, leg day, etc. The new protocols include Push, Pull and Squat (this link) but also include Hinge, Loaded Carry and Ground Work or Animal Movements (this other link), who knew?
I wanted to expand on these movements for a moment or two, and in particular, I want to talk about the “Ground Work” movement called “the Get Back Up.”
Take Baby Steps
Think of an infant or toddler. You know the one, small body, big head, few communication skills, and zero muscular coordination. So every day, this little person works on one thing learning how to get up.
First, they learn to turn over; next, begin to rock back and forth. All of these movements are designed to strengthen them until they finally manage to get up on their knees.
Once they can get to their knees, the process of grabbing something so they can pull themselves up begins until they can stand. They still have to hold on but not for long. Very soon they will start the process of letting go. The first couple of times they will fall right back down to the floor, but rapidly, they have developed enough skill, strength, and coordination that they can stay up for a second or two, maybe a minute. You know what happens next, right? Those first steps, more falling down and after a while, they can stand unaided for as long as needed.
The Final Step
The final step is precisely that, those first steps. Maybe those are very wobbly steps, some more falling down and then success! The walking becomes running and skipping, and then we promptly forget to continue using those skills. Once the child has learned to get off the floor, he or she will spend a lifetime avoiding get back on the floor.
The only way this differs from a strength training protocol is the child is setting their own benchmarks, there is no external evaluation, and they don’t have a coach adjusting their training regimen. Which based on their success is probably is a good thing. Kids have a remarkable strategy that you might want to adopt. They don’t care how many times they fail; kids just keep going until they succeed. Then all of the failed attempts are discarded. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful way to run your world?
(posted with permission from Dan John)
How to Get Back Up
Here’s a thought for you. When precisely was the last time you got down on the floor and tried to get back up upright? When was the last time your life, your career, or your family knocked you down, and you tried to get back up? You have heard this before, but it’s worth repeating. If you get knocked down into the dirt; only get dirty is you stay down there.
Try This Simple Experiment
1. On Your Back
Get down on the floor on your back and get back up to a standing position.
2. Right Side
Lie down again on your right side and get back up to a standing position
3. Left Side
Lie down on your left side and get back up to a standing position
4. Face Down
Lie down on your stomach and get back up to a standing position
Next, repeat the same process with your right hand on your right knee or in your pocket. Remember to keep the hand in place, on the knee or in a pocket without letting go throughout the whole process.
Finally, repeat the process with your left hand on your left knee. As per before, keep the left hand attached to the left knee, throughout the whole process.
What Did You Notice?
What you may have discovered is that simple movements are much harder than you may have realized. The biomechanics of these simple actions are definitely in there at the back of your brain, but really, when was the last time you attempted this? I purposely didn’t give any advanced instructions other than to GET BACK UP. The rest was up to you plus that great and powerful brain you have.
Another interesting thing you may be noticing is that you may be tired or even out of breath. The body knows what to do, but as in any skill, you must maintain it. Watching people figure out what to do is a fantastic thing to behold because you can’t tell them how to move; they must figure it out for themselves, AND THAT is personal change work at it’s finest!!!
If you have experienced a loss, trauma, i.e., job, spouse, etc. or life has “knocked you down” perhaps you might consider trying this simple exercise of GETTING BACK UP. You may have heard the term “it’s time to get back on the horse” or similar analogies. Perhaps these aren’t analogies after all, but actual instructions on how to facilitate your own healing.
Let’s go back to that baby for a moment. He or she had to be willing to keep getting up until they could stand; even if they needed to hold on or required support. Then the final event occurred… they had to let go. Learning to let go seems simple enough, but there is always a risk you might fall. When that happens, you already know what to do… YOU GET BACK UP AND GO AGAIN… and you keep getting up until you are stable.
Learning how to get back up before you fall you will find it easier to BOUNCE BACK, GET BACK UP, and live again. Even if, you are getting this message after you’ve been knocked down by life or circumstances lots of times… GET BACK UP ANYWAY.
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