Let Go Of Anger, Frustration, And The Need For Revenge – Before It Kills You…
Let go of that Anger. Anger turns humans into different beings, and we need to keep an eye on them. People are so smart and so flexible in their behaviors that they can create untold wonders and joy in the world and yet, can ruin their lives and their health if left to their own devices. More and more the effects of emotions and stress are showing as physical markers, long-term illness, and dis-ease.
Emotions and Dis-ease
In 1985, researchers began to study work-related stress and anger in women how this might be mitigated… but we didn’t listen. In December 2016, researchers stated that women ages 25-54 ARE MORE STRESSED than their male counterparts and the numbers are likely to rise. Stress lowers your immune system and makes for an excellent environment for unwanted pathogens. Whether it’s anger, stress, trauma, injury or illness, frequently the start of all of this began with “unexpressed emotions”; and if left unchecked can lead to severe health problems even death.
Recently, I was having a Skype session with one of my clients, and we were talking about “emotional triggers,” with regard to anger, after an incident that she had while out with friends. She told me that during a conversation over dinner, suddenly, she “just snapped” and then, had to spend a couple of days apologizing to her friends and boyfriend after the evening had ended. My first question was, “do you think your response was on-par with what was going on around you? She stated, ‘no’ it was that all of the things she had been ‘holding back” all came out at once.” This example is what I’m going to be talking about in the rest of this article. Pent-up emotions (like anger) that need expressing before the person “explodes.” usually at an inappropriate time or worse, manifests some type-of-illness or injury.
Her conversation got me thinking about a different client that I had worked with who had a similar issue. We had created a hypnosis pattern, on the spot, which worked very well for the other client. So I said to this Skype client, “let’s try something.” Within a few moments, she was able to let go of all of the things that had been bothering her in that particular context. So I decided that I would write this down so you who are reading this can benefit from this simple change pattern and skip the inappropriate “explosion” at some random restaurant.
Learning to Let Go
The First Thing
Letting go of “dangerous or limiting emotions” like Anger, Frustration and Revenge can be more comfortable than you realize if you know these simple steps. But first, we need to set up the correct space for you. And the very first thing you’re going to need is a “neutral space.” A neutral space is that place in your mind when you first wake-up, when you’ve completed a hard task, or you’ve been out in nature unplugged from the world for an hour or two.
You aren’t up or down… you’re right there in the middle and just letting the world go on by, without you.
Imagine a space like that. I’d like you to remember this area, so you can go there any time that you wish. I also call this a “safe space” because everyone needs a safe space so you can just relax and be, right?. Take as long as you need creating this space. Remember you can always add depth and dimension to this area, later. I’ll have to do an article on my “safe space”… it’s like Disneyland for grownups, lol.
The Second Thing
The second thing you’re going to need is permission to access the part of you that’s “keeping score,” is unhappy, or butthurt, etc. Getting permission is pretty easy to do, you just ask. Ask something along the lines of, I’d like permission to speak to the part of me that is “keeping score”… then you wait for a ‘yes.’ Sometimes you hear words; sometimes it’s a feeling or a visual symbol. Another way of doing this is to imagine something you would say, “yes” to, a check for 50,000 dollars, go to a movie, take a nap, etc. Notice how you feel inside when you say “yes.” Any other signal is, for now, is a “no.” If you get a “no,” just keep asking and changing or refining your question until you get a “yes.”
Steps to letting go of Anger, Frustration, and Revenge
1. Create a Safe or Neutral Space
Imagine standing in a neutral or safe space. In this internal area, you are neutral, not happy or sad or anything other than neutral. Take a few moments, just wander around and get to know this area and make it a favorite place to spend your spare time. When you’re ready, go to step 2.
2. Ask for Permission
Ask for permission to speak to the part of yourself that “holds things in” or “keeps score” or “feels less than…”. If it okay to speak with part of yourself; then proceed to the next step. If you are getting a “no” answer, ask again or wait until you get a “yes” answer to proceed to step 3.
3. View the Container and Contained Emotions
Ask the part to show you how the emotions are contained, constrained or otherwise locked-in, i.e., a box, a container, a vessel, jar or bowl; however, they appear to be, stored inside. Here’s a side note. I use the word “see” because I am a very visual person, others are not. It is perfectly acceptable for you to hear, feel smell or taste these emotions. Other report slides, movies, memories and even symbols. However, these contained emotions show up for you is perfect. Once you’ve had time to examine “the container” and its contents; go to step 4.
4. Move Around the Container
Take your time to evaluate this level; there is no rush. Imagine you can walk around the container. Walk around the vessel, clockwise. What do you see, feel or hear? You can take notes or just experience what you’re experiencing. Then walk counterclockwise around the container. What do you see, feel or hear? Next, imagine you can float above the vessel. See, hear, feel or experience the contained emotions at 3 feet, 10 feet even 30 feet above them. Then imagine you can float below the trapped emotions and look up. Notice how you feel, what you see or what thoughts emerge. Are there symbols or sounds associated with these feelings and emotions? Remember, also, to calibrate certain smells and tastes which could be related to those emotions and feeling; perhaps you just never took the time to notice, until now. Got step 5.
5. Pass-Through the Container and Contained Emotions
Walk through the container. Starting from the neutral space, imagine you can walk through the vessel to the other side until you are back in your neutral area. Noticing what you see, hear, feel or experience as you come in contact with those contained emotions. Make sure you are fully back into neutral space and then repeat the process; while walking backward through the container and again to your “neutral space.” You may have to repeat this step, several times until you are convinced that you have all the information or details about those contained emotions that you need or require.
6. Let the Emotions Completely Out
Standing in your neutral space, let the emotions out of the container and notice what happens. Some people see smoke or fog. Some people report a bad smell or taste. Some say they can feel the feelings. Stay with this process and just allow those feeling or smoke to expand and dissipate. I also, frequently, recommend that the person “open windows, turn on fans or bring out a shop vacuum” inside that mental space to help dissipate those emotions. This part of the process can take a few minutes up to a half of hour, depending on what type and how long the emotions have been stored? Once the “smoke has cleared,” go to step 7.
7. Make Sure the Container is Empty
Check to make sure ALL the past emotions are cleared from the container and the vessel is empty. Repeat if necessary. Sometimes people have to do this process 2-3 times, in order, the clearing to occur and for the new pattern to become ingrained as a skill. Whether you only have to do it once or 10 times, what matters is that you learn the new skill. Now that the container is empty, you may want to consider putting a bell, alarm or some type of warning device in or on the container; this will let you know when it needs is full and requires emptying again. Think of this like a catbox; it is all good until somebody forgets to change the litter.
Why learn this skill? That’s a great question. You may have heard of the mind/body connection, but maybe you haven’t put it together as a way to keep yourself illness and dis-ease free. Future Pacing is a way of deciding what you’re going to do in the future, now. I have clients in my office daily for “health problems” that have no cause and therefore, no “medical cure.” Problems like fibromyalgia, asthma, etc. technically have no cause. And treating these issues range from exercise to meditation retreats with lots of medication in-between. For these clients and yourself, future pacing may be the answer. In my mind, prevention is always cheaper than treatment. So the next time you feel those familiar feelings of anger, frustration or revenge. Do the above exercise and see if it makes a difference in your world. You can message me with your results, here
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