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medicine game

Playing The Medicine Game

By Michael Harris, PhD

Playing The Medicine Game

The medicine game conversation isn’t going to be about which meds, supplements, etc., that you should or should not be taking. This is a much more in-depth discussion about self-care and self-healing. The best methods for people to learn are through experience, stories, and thought-provoking metaphors.

medine game

My Medicine Game

My medicine game story begins with a very angry guy (me) about 20 plus years ago who got invited to an “experiential” seminar that shall be nameless, think EST, Charter, Landmark Corp., etc. During the 5-day portion of this seminar, we were introduced to a “game,” called The Medicine Game.

Inside of our participant packets was a small manilla envelope with the words “DO NOT OPEN UNTIL INSTRUCTED” written on the envelope. I am surprised I didn’t throw it away, some people already had. Remember the angry guy part of the story.

When it was time to play the game, the presenters told us a story. Imagine you are on a plane that crashes on a desert island. The is no food or water on this island, and the only provisions are going to be on the plane.

The next day, after checking all the people and supplies, you discover that there is only one lifeboat. To make matters, worse, everyone is sick from eating spoiled food and dehydration. Someone finds a first-aid kit and looks for medicine for all the sick people. There is only 1 dose of medicine, which coincidentally is the same number of people that will fit into the lifeboat. We will have to decide to gets the lifeboat and who remains behind.

So the presenters have us line up into a double circle, and each person had to stand in front of each and every person with your hand out (for the medicine). The person in front of you could only say one of two things, “I have medicine for you, or I have no medicine for you.” You don’t get to say anything other than “thank you” if you get a coffee bean.

medicine game

Things Get Worse

Remember the part where I’m angry and not being a very good participant? I think I died within the first 5 minutes because I gave all of my medicine away and didn’t keep any for myself. It wasn’t a very well-thought-out decision on my part.

Energy is a fascinating process, and when everything you are doing is non-verbal, the only thing people have to go on is your energy, facial expressions, and social conditioning. Does that make you wonder what energy you are sending out into the world, right now?

To make things more fun, then they gathered everyone together, to say goodbye to any persons that were close to us. I chose my 3 daughters. I remember saying to tell my daughters to “forget anything I had ever told them; just go live their lives and be happy.” None of that “sage advice” I used to bestow on them meant anything.

medicine game

More Medicine Games

I ultimately play the medicine game 3 times that year because the seminar was in 4 parts. The second time I played with more vigor and asked more people for medicine but died anyway. I was pissed because I thought I was playing. But in reality, it was just a half-ass attempt to get by without having to risk anything. Also a normal pattern for me.

The last time I played, I actually asked someone for some advice (*gasp) before the game. The person told me that unbeknownst to many, that ALL of the personnel at the seminar(s) carried coffee beans, just in case someone asked for medicine.

This time, I decided to go all out and ask every single human in that space, at the seminar, and in the building for medicine. I also did something unusual I gave out no medicine to anyone who asked, which felt really weird. I am a very generous person and have, in the past, given away more than I could spare. But this time, I had to live and get back home to my kids.

medicine game

Success!!!

The third game I actually survived. Remember, there is only one survivor. If you want to live, you have to do more than “just try.” Choosing you over someone else when the consequences are death makes you question your choices and priorities.

What I learned was that I could choose me when I decided to and that floating in a so-so, guess-so mindset doesn’t seem to be the best way to be happy. Thankfully, we don’t have to make “who lives and who dies” decisions very often, for which I’m grateful. I can say that listening to 50 people tell you what they want their family or loved ones to know about their last moments is sobering and gut-wrenching.

medicine game

What Does This All Mean?

We don’t have to make life-or-death decisions very often anymore but that doesn’t mean that the decisions you make aren’t serious. It’s easy to be lax about living. Food, shelter, and modern conveniences are everywhere. I think this game taught me that we need to pay attention to what we want, what we need, and how to ask for medicine when we need it.

Playing this game has had a profound effect on me. I’d love to stay that after playing this game, I have permanently changed my attitude forever and wander around on this planet with a smile but not always.

I still slip back into old patterns, as we all do, from time to time. Anger has been my life-long go-to drug…but not today.

medicine game

The Ultimate Medicine

The ultimate medicine isn’t in a pill or capsule, an exercise class, or meditation audio. The ultimate medicine is when you decide to bring your BEST POSSIBLE SELF to any place or situation. And the way you will know that you are doing that is that you create a space for others to bring their best possible selves into that space as well. 

Imagine what it might be like to be able to just be you? With no pretense or guarded behavior… only you with all your flaws, past mistakes, and errors… and nobody cares, not even you.

It’s a goal worth pursuing.

Want to find out what it really takes to live? Play the medicine game soon. Ask for medicine every day. Keep asking until you are full, well, or healed then give back others but remember to keep a little for yourself.

medicine game

If you need any Medicine?
Please feel free to email me or call 214-702-3774
You can also signup for a FREE 15-minute consultation
I will be doing an online medicine game in 2020 (still working out the details)

erasing anxiety

Erasing Anxiety With Hypnosis

By Michael Harris, PhD

Erasing Anxiety With Hypnosis

Erasing Anxiety With Hypnosis is pretty simple if you know a few things. I heard a great story the other day, from a friend of mine, about a hypnosis presentation she attended recently. I actually know the presenter but he hasn’t given me permission to name him here. If he gives me that permission I’ll update this article.

After the presentation, she noticed a person at the group who obviously was having a hard time just being there, because of “social anxiety”, she often experiences going to new things.

By just following the steps that presenter had used in a demonstration, she was able to help the woman, not only stay at the meet-up but actually enjoy herself while she was there.

Not only is this possible, but it’s so simple you can do it yourself. Or you could help a friend of your’s through it.

erasing anxiety

Follow these steps

Just follow these simple steps. You can add in additional steps but these are the minimums.

1. Have the person close their eyes and imagine a blackboard in front of them. Some people can do this with their eyes open but just be sure to give this instruction.

2. Have the person begin to write down all of the words, thoughts, pictures or feelings they are experiencing. You may have to help them in the beginning. Do let them “take over and do it themselves. This step can take several minutes, particularly if they’ve never done this type of visualization before.

3. Ask them if that’s all of them? If no, let them write some more. Ask this question until you get a “yes, that’s all” answer.

4. Have the person erase all of the words, thoughts, and feelings until the blackboard is clear.
This also can take some time or go fast… both answers are perfect per the individual.

5. Once the person has erased the blackboard, ask them if they feel better? If yes, congratulate them. If no, repeat the process. The process can be repeated until the person’s brain “GETS IT” and learns that thoughts and feelings that are imagined can also be imagined away.

Anxiety is usually what is called a pseudo-orientation in time. The person is either imagining a future event and responding “as if” it’s happening now. Or the person is recalling a past event, in which, they were having a particular experience, i.e. they were fearful, unprepared, in danger, etc. and they are oriented into that experience in the past.

This technique will require them to be in the present and learn a new strategy for re-orienting into the present where they are safe… they just hadn’t noticed.

 

erasing anxiety

Watch the video

 

erasing anxiety

Still, Need Some Help?

Just email me or contact me for a hypnosis appointment

Or if you just have a couple of questions you can always register for FREE 15 minute consultation

find what's missing

Find What’s Missing…

By Michael Harris, PhD

Find What’s Missing…

Find what’s missing in your life. That’s today’s theme and video.

I was lucky enough to meet a wonderful person who needed a hypnosis appointment and that person needed that appointment at “o-dark-thirty” this morning. Which is fine with me since I usually get up around 5 am. I am not, however, used to being perky and cheerful with all systems online at that time.

This particular person was interested in working on compulsive eating so hypnosis is a good tool for that. During the session, I mentioned to them that “their nighttime hunger” may be a signal for something else, i.e. physical, emotional needs that aren’t being met.

We all have wants and needs. Sometimes we just ignore them, make deals or just flat-out deny that we have these needs and our wonderful unconscious minds make sure that we remember, in usually interesting ways.

Is there something you’ve been ignoring? I know if I ask that question of myself and am completely honest, the answer is yes. What that yes maybe at the moment is a curiosity.

find what's missing

Try This

Take some time today. Perhaps instead of watching the television or getting that last email read or facebook post liked, you take a moment to check in with you and you.

Sit or lie down.

Scan your body from the top of your head, all the way down to your toes and fingers.

Then go inside.

Any worries or concerns that you “just haven’t had time to manage?

Any aches or pains?

Hungry or thirsty?

Bored or angry?

Are you tired?

I ask these questions to cue to what to ask yourself. Many times we just don’t’ take the time to check in with ourselves to see if we have any wants or needs that haven’t been addressed, yet.

Here’s a short video with a couple of more tips.

If you have additional questions call 214-702-3774 or email me

or if you would like to make an appointment for coaching or hypnosis go here

There is a new online group program I have begun go here

No Rules…

By Michael Harris, PhD

No Rules…

No rules? What if we could live in a world like that? It may be kind of hard to imagine. No reason to be mad or angry or resentful since there were no rules.

Here’s a short video on that idea.

Interested in Coaching or Hypnosis? Click on this link

Not really sure if coaching is right for you? Click here…

bring your a-game

Bring Your A-Game

By Michael Harris, PhD

Bring Your A-Game

Bring your A-game is something you may have heard before but what does that really mean? Your A-game means that you are bringing out your best for whatever endeavor that you are currently engaged. How often do we really do that? The reality is we don’t.

bring your a-game

Things Happen For A Reason

As you may know, life happens. People fail. People get sick or lose a job. You may have gotten divorced or lost a parent or loved one. And no one would blame you for being down. Several years ago my wife left me. I don’t blame her for anything I might have left me too. But it had a catastrophic effect that I didn’t notice. I lost me in the process. And I believe that I owe lots of people an apology because I had no clue.

I think that I may have been numbered among the walking wounded for several years; just doing barely enough to survive. The problem was I didn’t know. We rarely have the skill sets to critically observe ourselves or notice our blind spots. If we’re lucky we have friends or family that may point this out but we rarely listen. 

So we usually do what most people do… suck it up and move on. But what happens if you don’t move on? or get better? Some people can do this for years or even the rest of their lives as they slowly watch everything in their lives diminish or disappear. Things happen for reasons that we may not understand.

bring your a-game

There’s Hope

There is always hope. While I do believe that things happen for a reason, that purpose may not be visible to you right away. The whole purpose of this article is to let you know that things can change, in an instant, if your ready to set down that bag of bricks you’ve been carrying around. 

The other surprising thing is when you do make this shift… It’s ON!!! The light goes on and you’ll be wondering where you’ve been while that planet kept spinning. It’s pretty amazing.

bring your a-game

Asking For Help

People in general and specifically the help or service industries are usually the last people to ask for or even assume they need help, because, you know, we’ve got this. WRONG.

Humans are humans and we need our tribe(s). I think I was lucky enough to have people in my world who didn’t give up on me during my most “ass-holyness” periods. Although, I did find out which were my friends versus who were acquaintances disguised as friends; which is always good to know. It does cut out the number of Christmas cards I need to send, lol. Ask for help. Request help. Keep asking for help until you get it. Until you’re ready to receive it and then say “thank you”.

bring your a-game

Hire A Coach

I know several GREAT coaches just send me an email for the list and I will be adding several to the website soon so you can contact them directly. Coaching seems to be extremely popular these days. I guess no one wants therapy, lol. If you do decide you want a little extra assistance; I know a pretty good hypnotherapist as well.

Coaching is a wonderful process because you stay in the driver seat on how fast and how intense your healing is. The true purpose of a coach is to point out asymmetries and blind spots in your life, career, etc. I highly recommend getting one. P.S. I have two. One for business and one for my personal life.

Read Books

There are literally THOUSANDS of good books to read about whatever your dilemma, wound or short-coming may be. I do advise that you consider evaluating your spiritual path as well. My opinion is all problems are spiritual problems considering we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Make A Decision

Make a decision today. that from today on you’re going to bring your A-GAME everywhere. this isn’t a fake-it-until-you-make thing. It’s a decision that you’ve been doing “THAT” (over there) long enough and you’re going to do your level best at everything you do.

We’ve all heard or seen the athletes who play with the flu or injured. The Mom or Dad, who wakes up from grief and takes charge after the loss of a spouse or the burning of the house.

The person who works 3 jobs AND goes to school so they can have that degree that gets them the job that allows the kids to go to college. Being present with your children. Telling your partner they can have 30 minutes of total presence before you have to go back to work. Doing a 15-minute workout instead of skipping. Taking 5 extra minutes to make a salad to go with your meal. That is how you bring your A-GAME.

What your specific A-GAME is and how you do that is up to you. You’ve got this and I’ve got your back.

Send me an email if you need some help with this.

additional reading

For Men:
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi

Unhidden by Robert Kandell

For Women

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science
that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski Ph.D.

A Course in Miracles

Less by Andrew Sean Greer

being outed

Being Outed? How to Survive

By Michael Harris, PhD

Being Outed? How to Survive 

Being outed is possibly the worst experience a person can have. Particularly, if they aren’t prepared for the possible consequences of some well-meaning or even mean-spirited person. What does being outed mean? The short version is that someone besides you tells people, groups or organizations that you belong to a certain group or lifestyle and have chosen, for whatever reason, to not tell anyone or any groups of people.

I have a friend of mine who recently got outed. I was outed during my child custody hearing. It wasn’t a tremendous amount of fun and it has caused a rift in my family that remains to this day. So what can you do?

being outed

Why Do People Get Outed Anyway?

Sometimes it’s just by accident; other times it happens because people don’t understand that not everyone thinks, lives or believes the way they do. This ignorance, bias, and prejudices cause a lot of unnecessary pain, grief, job and relationship loss, etc. I would like to think that most “outings” happen by accident, but I know better.

We live in business, cultural and social environments where if “you aren’t like me then you should be”. You can see this phenomenon on social media, in the news and it causes lots of problems that aren’t necessary.

being outed

Planning Ahead

Just so you know, I don’t care what you do or who you do it with as long as it consensual on both sides and everyone who needs to know… knows. This includes sexuality, religion, political affiliation, etc. Do whatever you wish… just cause no harm.

If you belong to or are considering joining a particular group or lifestyle, Do Your Research. The “Powers that be” have been very thorough in creating barriers and roadblocks to limiting or even preventing people’s personal freedoms of choice. There are morality clauses for teachers, parishioners and even in the corporate arena. So if you are gay, lesbian, transgender, bi, a cross-dresser, poly, a swinger, into BDSM or even in the SCA, you may want to do a little preparation lest you get surprised like my friend.

being outed

Here Are A Few Things You Can Do In Advance

Being prepared is the best advice I can give for any situation. It’s probably that “boy scout thing” in me. “Always Be Prepared” is a motto you can build your life around.

1. Think about how you WANT to feel if your “secret” comes out?

Plan exactly how you wish to feel. Happy? Relieved? Pick your feeling.
Need some help? Here’s a well-formed outcome process to help with that.

2. Do Your Homework

What are the possible legal and social consequences of your lifestyle? Have you prepared everything you need for possible legal implications; like getting censured, fired or divorced? Spend an hour on the internet, it might save you hours of tears and regret. I can say from experience that talking to your Mother after a tough day in court for custody of your child isn’t the best day to have this conversation.

3. Prepare To Tell The People You Care About

If your friends are your friends then most likely they either already know all about you or they don’t care what you do… that’s why they are your friends. Families may be a little different. Think Holidays. Those petty rivals and lifelong disagreements may rear their ugly heads in a  way not imaginable. Not trying to be negative here, I just have a family too.

4. Prepare to Tell Your Kids 

Be prepared to tell your adult children, if possible, about your chosen path. It may take them a little while to wrap their head around “Mommy or Daddy” has a life outside of them, but hopefully, they will come around. Prepare for lots of questions, lol.

Talking with non-adult children and (not close) family members are a different manner, entirely. Discernment is going to be your best advice here. If children are too young to understand your choices, wait until they are older, if possible. If you can’t wait you may just have to tell them before someone else does. That’s a tough choice but children always want to know the truth even if it’s hard. Better to hear hard things from your parent than a stranger.

Family members are a little tougher. They have a preconceived idea of who you are and it may take them months or even years to come to grips with your identity change(s). Stay the course.

Here Are A Few Things To Do
If You’ve Been Outed Before You are Ready

(source:https://www.minus18.org.au/index.php/articles/item/27-how-to-handle-being-outed-before-you-re-ready)
Come out or if you’ve already been outed; do it again

Take control of the situation yourself and own your sexuality, gender identity or chosen activity. This could be through making a Facebook post (“As most of you know by now, I’m bisexual.”) or another way that you feel comfortable with. Showing confidence (even if it’s not 100% real) can be a huge help in situations like this, and demonstrates to others that your identity is your own.

Talk to the people who matter

Take time to talk to the people that matter to you about your chosen life and activities. Especially the people who you have to see often. Sit them down and explain to them what it is you feel and how much you appreciate their support. You also will find out pretty quick who your friends actually are. We’ve all made the mistake of confusing friends with acquaintances.

Keep active

If you can, try not to isolate yourself from the situation or from the things you enjoy. Keep involved in your usual activities and at school, university and/or work since it can be a great way to keep yourself grounded (and keep your mind off the situation if you need it).

Try making new friends/networks

Getting yourself out there and feeling connected to people who love and support you can be a hugely positive experience. You’re reading this so that’s a great start. If there aren’t any youth organizations near you, online communities can be incredible. You aren’t alone

Recognize if things get too hard

It’s not always easy and it’s OK to recognize that you need extra support. If you’re experiencing a rough time at work, or school, etc., speak to professional and have an honest conversation about how you’re feeling. There are plenty of paid and free resources available.

Final Thoughts

The cost of freedom can be everything. In order to live your life openly, you have to take some risks. But it’s always better if you are the one choosing those risks instead of some knucklehead.

If you’ve made it this far down in the article you may have noticed I have made several comments as to me being in a particular lifestyle. I have lived this lifestyle openly in my private life but have recently chosen to include it in my professional life. Many of my clients are in various lifestyles as well and I think it’s nice for them to have somewhere to go when they need help, coaching, and hypnosis. Let the chips fall where they may. I wish you the best.

being outed

Need Help?

If you need coaching or counseling regarding lifestyle choices
Please feel free to contact me via phone 214-702-3774 or by email anytime

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