Single Channel Flirting
(this is an A.I translation)
Today’s conversation is going to be something fun. I was talking to a friend of mine and got this great idea about how we can become better at communication.
And also to discover if we are missing anything when we are doing what we do. This lockdown is giving us an opportunity to really learn something new if you are willing to come out and play.
So okay, so we’re working here on the idea of single channel flirting. So, I want you to try this and I’m going to give you an example.
One activity
I’d like you to pick one activity.
one activity could be you know making a cup of coffee or taking a shower. And I want you to think about it and I’ll just kind of go through my day because when I get up in the morning. I don’t necessarily turn any lights on, I have a grow light that goes on my bonsai. So there’s a little bit of light, so I don’t need a whole lot of light to, you know, get up and make a cup of coffee but it kind of goes like this.
My alarm goes off and you know in a perfect world I don’t hit snooze but let’s say it’s a perfect world and I get up and I walk out of my bedroom and into the bathroom and do what I normally do when I come out of there. I’m going to turn right and I’m going to walk down the hall to my kitchen.
And then I’m going to walk over to my coffee pot, or to my Keurig and I’m going to turn it on, and I’ll hear the Keurig began to heat up, and I reach into the upper cabinet pull out a K cup and put it in there and close the lid. And as the coffee is brewing. I’ll reach over to my left, And, you know, bring over my super mega organic granulated sugar thing and put one teaspoon of sugar in my coffee, and then while that’s happening.
About that time the Keurig is beginning to output coffee into the coffee cup and I’d go to the refrigerator and get some almond milk, shake it up, take the lid off pour in two ounces of almond milk, and then stir that up and then let the coffee.
Now the coffee is finished brewing and I walk back and I walk into my living room to my favorite chair, and I sit down and I set my coffee cup, you know, down to my left on a table. I’ll turn on the light. And you can tell that thought about this. And I’ll sit and drink a cup of coffee and go through my email in the morning. Okay. And so, I want you to pick something that you do on a regular basis, and just kind of think about what the steps are that you would normally do in order to perform that and the thing is it’s generally so automated that we don’t even pay attention.
BlindFolded
So here’s the fun part. I want you to try this, but imagine this time that you’re blindfolded. Okay. And so I keep my bedroom really really dark it’s completely blacked out I have blackout curtains there’s no available light whatsoever. you know, so I kind of know where everything is in my bedroom. Okay, but if I were blindfolded once I leave my bedroom, everything starts getting dicey my bathroom is across the hall from my bedroom. So now I have to navigate to the bathroom, and find the potty, and make sure that nothing unfortunate happens… while I’m blindfolded.
And then I have to exit the bathroom work my way down the hall to my coffee pot. And while I was thinking about this, you know one of the things that that I used to because I’m sleepy, is when I close the lid, you know, three blue lights slide up which tell me which size brew that I’m going to get it going to be small, medium or large.
So if I were blindfolded, I would have to literally feel my way down to the bottom button and then work my way back up. In order to press the right button. Sure, it would be no problem maybe, you know. And then I have to turn around and walk blindly or blindfolded Lee, to the refrigerator, open the refrigerator door. Find out almond milk, go back to the thing in one of the things I want you to like pay attention to is what other senses would be activated. If you couldn’t see your sense of smell your sense of touch proprioception which is a kinesthetic thing of you moving through the air, your feet on the floor.
Okay. And so once you’ve done that, and you’ve noticed what you’ve done with that. Imagine that in addition to being blindfolded, that you have like noise-canceling headphones on. Okay, so I’m not going to be able to hear the coffee pot, as it begins to brew. I’m going to have to like put my hand on top of the, of the thing to hit to literally feel the coffee pot, make it makes a complete cycle until it stops. Then close the lid, then find the buttons, then push the button.
Yeah, you don’t have to, you know, what have you don’t drink coffee. Okay, imagine doing the same thing of taking a shower or getting dressed for work or whatever. Pick one activity that you would normally do and go through this process. And just think about all of the experiences that we aren’t noticing that, you know, because we have a had this one channel art. Our eyes that we have all of these other things that are muted, or not pay attention to, at all. Okay.
Try this
So, I want you to, you know, try that thing and you’re going to listen to this again. And the short instructions are imagined or go through the steps.
And then imagine, or go through the steps with a blindfold. Because I’ve recommended that people like to eat dinner blindfolded you know so that they can actually taste their food. And then imagine, or actually go through the process of being blindfolded and having noise-canceling ear muffs on your head as you do a simple task.
Level Expert
Your expert level process for this I thought it would be fun is you know we’re kind of at home, and we got our partners or a partner and or you might have a somebody that you’re interested in or you might have somebody that you were interested in and now you aren’t.
But, explore the fantasy with that partner. It could be holding hands it could be dancing in your kitchen. It could be making love. How do you normally do, that sort of thing. The lights on lights off. Where do you begin. Are you the initiator or are you the receiver. And then think about that. Or actually try this with a blindfold. It could be just here. It could be just them. It could be both of you. And, you know, obviously Amazon’s gonna make money off of me with those noise-canceling your must but wouldn’t it be interesting for you to have the experience
of having your eyes or having your ears, or both, completely shut down so that you are now forced to pay attention to your sensations to that feeling of touch.
What does their skin feel like? What does your skin feel like? What, smells, or tastes do are you now aware of that you aren’t normally aware of, you know, it’s like, Did you just have a big dinner with garlic bread, you know it’s gonna show up when you close those other channels.
So I wanted you to think about this, and kind of think about it is, like, we don’t know how long we’re gonna be shut down. Okay, it’s gonna come it’s gonna go it’s gonna be on it’s gonna be off. But if we get better at communicating. If we get better at communicating with ourselves. If we get better at communicating with people that we care about, maybe we’ll get better with communicating and connecting with other people that we don’t know. One of the things that you might want to consider is, you know, we do a lot of texting. Nowadays instead of talking or, you know, meeting people face to face.
How would you let someone know that you were interested in how would you let them know that you wanted to talk, or to kiss, or to make love or to interact with them in some kind of way? And, anyway. That’s today’s video.
Tomorrow (or Monday)
Tomorrow’s video is going to be a step up, but I really want you to practice these skills, at least once, you know with yourself, go ahead and, you know, prepare to be surprised of somebody I know that says, if you don’t feel foolish while you’re doing this you’re probably doing it wrong. I’m planning on doing a meditation blindfolded. I’m planning on doing a yoga session blindfolded. Because I want to see our Nazi, I want to experience what this is going to be alive because I’m extremely visual and I’m very reliant on my eyes and my ears.
And I’m really interested to know what this could be like so. Please, you know, put your comments in the comments section. This will be on YouTube, as well as on my website, but I’m really interested in knowing your feedback when you try this. And, and what your experience was, I think that this is a great way to experience being playful and getting really really curious about how we do what we do not why, just how do we do it when do we do that, where do we do that for how long. And most importantly, starting to pay attention to how you respond? how you do you know this feels good?
And tomorrow we’re going to take it. The next level up and say and say, Does your partner or does your friend, enjoy whatever it is that you’re doing because if it doesn’t feel good to you, my guess is that it’s not feeling good to other people. And what may feel good to you may or may not feel good to somebody else? And anyway, just think about that today and we’ll talk tomorrow.
Have a great day.
