(this is an A.I. translation so I hope it’s fairly accurate)
This Gift, we’ve received, has been an interesting place to be. There are lots of options, the creation of new behaviors and opportunities. We’re also doing lots of activities that they wouldn’t normally do because they’d be living their life or going to work. And I thought I’d talk about you know some of these opportunities.
I had an opportunity last week to contact my teenage daughter and said, Hey, would you like to get together for 30 minutes and color? And, yeah, trust me. I don’t call her a whole lot, but we got together and we colored and it was calm and it was peaceful and I said hey you want to do that again. And then we did it again and again. And I have a coloring appointment with my 13-year-old today at 130 or 120. And we’re going to call her. and just hang out and visit,
and the options that we have, you know, to hang out with our kids and to talk with our kids is really kind of this gift that I’m talking about, you know, for the first time in 100, years, children have the opportunity to see what it is that their parents do for work or for a living, and how they make, you know, how they make their way. And I’m thinking about Robert Bly, who wrote a book called iron john I’ll post that in the links. It’s an interesting story about the maturation of young men into young women.
It’s an awesome book and one component, or one sentence that has always stuck out to me in that book is it when a child doesn’t see what their parents do during the day, you know like we’d go to work and we’re gone all day and we come back and we’re exhausted or we’ve had all these experiences that our kids don’t know about.
There’s a hole that develops in their heart and there’s like a level of just an unspoken mistrust of what is happening and I think that we have this huge huge chance to include our children in activities that we would normally take for granted.
When my teenager was younger I and I was living out in the country. You know I would build stuff and I always asked her if she wanted to participate and sometimes she would, and sometimes she would not.
But she had an opportunity to work with me and I actually had an opportunity to work with her so one of the things that, that, that I might encourage you to do is set some time aside and ask your kids what do you want to cook.
Have them make a list or have them look up a recipe and then go to the store with them, or go to the store and get the stuff that they have requested and let them cook and let them participate in a way, or have them built up you know there’s definitely girl activities and boy activities, you know not trying to be doing gender splicing but hanging out with my daughter and coloring and stuff like that seems a lot easier than just having a phone call, or a video call or some doing some something together. And I noticed that when my daughter and I were building stuff together, it was easier because we were equal. And they thought that I had.
While I was prepping for this is when I had a personal training business.
Occasionally, I would get a parent, and a kid, it could be a dad and a daughter a dad son or a mom and a daughter a mom, and a son. But one of the things that I did with them, right up front, was set up the parameters of how we were going to train how to how we were going to interact and I would ask the parent I said how much you know how much exercise experience do you have and you know their answers would vary from, you know, a lot to none at all.
And I said, Okay, well, in, no matter what their answer was, I said in this particular case. Okay. I’m the expert and I’m going to be telling you what to do and I’m going to be telling your son or daughter, what to do. And my request is that you do your workout. And you let them do their thing, and I’ll be watching you and if you’re helping. I’ll tell you to cut it out.
And I’ve done the same thing. Now that you know I’m doing hypnosis is frequently, particularly when I work for USA Gymnastics but, you know, even today that I’ll get a teenager I’ll get a young adult that comes in with their parent. And I’ll ask them a question. And you know trying to turn to get to know them and figure out why they’re there, and I’ll ask them a question and they’ll immediately go and look at the parent.
The very first thing that I say to them is, what are you looking at them for, they don’t know your answer. The other thing that I find does pretty amazing is I’ll ask you know the the the teenager or the young adult a question, and their parent will respond.
And that’s what I look at them and say if you answer one more time. I’m kicking you out of the office, and it’s an opportunity, kind of like the like this cooking or building stuff opportunity where for the first time.
The young adult or the child has reached an equal status with the parent.
I also did that with all of my older kids I have, I have up like 40-year-old adult kids and stuff, but I invited them to get to know me, you know they know me I’m their dad. Okay, I’m the guy that told him what to do or what not to do, and all that stuff, but when they became adults. I said, we need to work on our adult relationship and I said the same thing, only much sooner, to my teenager, she’s you know she’s 13, and it’s like we need to begin working on our adult relationship. Because you know I’m always going to be your dad, but I’m not always going to be your parent.
So just a short video today but I want you to think about what is it that you could be doing with your kids or your grandchildren. What could you be doing with your adult kids because you’ve never taken the time to establish an adult relationship with them, you know if I’ve been going to a Saturday happy hour, you know, it’s like, what do you invite your adult kids to your happy hour or do you have one. So the last thing I want you to think about today is how are you going to be using this gift.
What are you going to take with you?
What are you going to leave behind?
What are these options and new behaviors and opportunities that, that we have now? Are you going to take it with you?
And, you know, send me an email, you can or, you know, go to the website and you can message me there you can message me on almost any social media,
and you know if you need some ideas on stuff to do. I’m your guy.
And if you just want to talk. I’m also your guy. I’ll talk to you soon.