Triggers part 3
(this is an AI transcript)
Triggers part 3
Good morning co-creators
today we’re going to do part three of triggers. And this is going to be more along the lines of, like a coaching type process.
And the real difference between coaching and hypnosis for me is that you will be doing the work, rather than me inducing trance.
And this process comes from a book
I highly recommend this book it’s called the power of TED I’ll post the link to it in the, in the, in the translation.
And it’s basically a metaphor, and a process about getting out of the victim triangle.
In general, when we have things that happen in our lives. We either perceive them as challenges, or, or growth.
But we can also see them from the perspective of being a victim.
And we’re going to go through three different diagrams.
And the first diagram that we’re going to do is called the victim triangle. And I’m going to put a picture up here,
so that you can see that there’s a triangle, and there’s three little circles. And the V down to the bottom stands for victim, the P stands for perpetrator the person who is victimizing you, but it could also be a situation. It could be an environment, it could be an illness, it can be an injury. And then the R stands for rescuer.
And it’s an interesting aspect that frequently, the rescuer. Tough well-intended ends up being a perpetrator.
Kind of like people who got bullied became bullies
And the reason behind that it when you read the book is you’ll discover that the rescuer is rescuing, so they don’t have to feel like a victim.
But I don’t want to spend too much time on that, you can read the book.
So as you’re looking at this triangle.
What I’d like you to do is think about a situation or a time in your life, in which that you felt bad or you felt less than, or you felt like a victim.
And when you think about that scenario, who or what was the perpetrator. We could use the analogy. Right now in this situation, let’s say that you had a job, you know, it’s just a job, you don’t really love it.
But you didn’t want to go look for another one. The money’s Okay, and now you don’t have a job or you’re working from home. Okay, so in.
In this particular case, the rescuer.
Is this shutdown that we’re having now we haven’t taken any time to identify the perpetrator maybe, maybe the perpetrator is you have a crappy boss or you have, you’re bored. Or maybe you have a co-worker and that you don’t really like okay so there’s you as the victim your perpetrator is whoever or whatever the situation is and the rescuer is our COVID shut down.
And now you’re stuck at home. And, or you’re out of a job. And you see how the rescuer can become the perpetrator.
And you can use this in any type of scenario that you want and just take a few minutes to like parse out, you know, who’s the victim, who’s the perpetrator. And who’s the rescuer and this could be a situation in which you are the perpetrator and you victimize somebody else or you are the rescuer. And now that person sees you as the perpetrator it’s really an interesting triangle, but I don’t want to stay here too terribly long.
So I’m going to put up another illustration. And this illustration is called the creator triangle and you can see that there’s a C for creator, and there’s a CH for challenger, and there’s a co for coach.
Okay, so if you put yourself back into the, into that same situation a minute ago where you had like a job that was, you know, less than ideal. What needs to happen here is, is a paradigm shift in your thinking in your mind and your heart, that you created those by accepting a job, maybe you needed a job and you had to accept it.
But, in one aspect, you created this situation. And the challenge, or the challenger is, you know, that you really don’t like your job or the pay is low or you have a tough boss or you have an interesting co-worker. But if you shift your thinking to rather than thinking of them as perpetrators, think of them as a challenger you had this goal and maybe that goal was, you know that you knew that you wanted a job so that you could make a living so that you could go on vacation, have a house, and all the same. And that’s what you really created.
Because you need to think about what it was that you originally wanted to create. And now I want you to shift over to the challenger okay and frequently challenges, the way that they work is they’re kind of deconstructing or trying to deconstruct your goal. But if you start thinking in terms of okay what is it that they are challenging you to do, or they challenge you, challenging you to think about whether this job is worth having or no not or not, you know, having a great life and having a home to live in and being able to take care of your family, that’s a great goal, but it doesn’t have to be at this particular job that could be the challenge and challenges, maybe you need a better job. The challenge could be that you need to learn how to communicate more effectively and or stand up for yourself, you know to mark your territory and say, you know, I won’t move forward from this point.
That’s how a challenger functions in the coach. If you think about your challenger let’s say that your tough boss or your interesting coworker, and you shift them over into the coaching segment. What is it, they’re trying to teach you. And what is it they’re trying to make you aware of because the purpose of a coach is to empower you.
So that you can achieve your goals.
The purpose of a coach is to point out your blind spots. And if you think about this, this interesting coworker or this challenging boss. Maybe they know you can do better. Maybe they know that you can do a better job, or maybe they know that this job that you have that you really don’t like isn’t a good fit.
Because the dream or the goal that you created is big. And maybe this job that you have, or had was small. So the next illustration that I’m going to show you is kind of like a star pattern.
And you know, I’ll put it up on the screen, so that when you think about that situation. Again, that made you feel bad because you had a job or you had a challenging situation where you’re in the victim status, I want you to imagine that you can move, literally shift yourself from victim to creator. Think about what it is that on a larger scale that you are trying to create, I mean we all need to work.
But do we just work to work, or do we work to create a life? And take a moment or two and think about what you’re attempting to create.
Okay and then think about your challenges.
Okay, what challenges are they work-related challenges are their health-related challenges are they stress-related challenges, even this COVID virus can be viewed as a challenger, how do we become better people. because of our challenges because of our challengers. And then you, you take your perpetrator. And you move them to challenger space.
And then the last aspect of this is your coach. Okay, the rescuer in that other triangle, you know somebody who’s trying to rescue you so they don’t fall into that victim trap okay if you started viewing that person or that situation or that environment As a coach.
What is it that this coach is attempting to empower you to do, you know, maybe you do need another job. Or maybe you need to take your job more seriously maybe you need to take a leadership role and you just been coasting along. And today’s that day. And today’s that day that you decide that from this point forward that you’re not going to coast anymore you’re in or you’re not going to remain silent when it’s time for you to speak up that you’re going to claim your space and your territory.
And I just want you to kind of like go through this I highly recommend reading the book it has an interesting metaphor and takes you through a process that you’ll when you get to the end you’ll go Oh, now I know understand what he’s talking about. But if you’re one of those people like me I mean just, I want to know what the steps are.
And that way I can figure out, figure out the steps for myself.
And when you’re doing this process.
As with the other two processes pick something that is a little, you know, low priority, you know whether you know if you fix it great. Or if you change it, great and do this a couple of times, so that you know how this process works. So that when you tackle that big, you know, number one thing that you’ve got like in the wings and you’ve always wanted to change the outcome of that one thing that happened.
You’ll have the skill sets to do it.
And I hope that you guys have a great weekend.
I think I’m going to mow my yard. And as always, you know I’m going to be around the house, so if you want to message, message me just message me on Facebook, or you can message me on YouTube, or you can go to my website, Dr. Michael Harris, calm and sign up for a free 15-minute consultation. And I’ll talk to you on Monday. And remember, you are a co-creator.